Energizer Abby
by tearsofamiko
Summary: The way she is just never really changes.
1. Sketch I

Title: Energizer Abby

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Not even one tiny bit, not even at all.

Spoilers: maybe _Agent Afloat_, but could be almost any episode

Summary: Who she is just never really changes.

A/N: I loved Abby's reaction to 'Major Mass-spec's' temper-tantrum and it kinda made me think about what could have been said about it.

* * *

_Be-bleep!_

"I don't wanna hear it!" she says, pointing a threatening finger.

"Talking to your machines again, Abs?"

"Only when they're being whiny-butts."

"Ok, Abby."

They look at each other for a second and he shakes his head, one eyebrow raised. Even as close as they are, he doesn't truly understand all of her quirks. But, seriously, now, talking to the machines isn't as out there as he knew she could be. He smiles as an errant memory occurs to him, then winces as she punches his shoulder.

"What was that for?!"

"Stop thinking about my room, McGee!"

"Okaaay, sorry," he half-whines, rubbing his arm. He glances at her again and their eyes meet. His grin is met by her smirk and she almost giggles as they turn away and get back to work.


	2. Sketch II

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch II

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: see part one.

Spoilers: _Bait_

Summary: Who she is just never really changes.

A/N: I was watching _Bait_ on USA and I loved the interaction between McGee and Abby in the lab. And I enjoyed that 'creative high' that sometimes catches me when I write.

* * *

She punches him.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"We should have thought of that hours ago!"

She cringes away from him, vaguely reminiscent of the way Tony acts when he knows Gibbs' hand is headed for his head.

"What?"

"Hit me!"

"I'm not going to hit you."

"Come on! I deserve it!"

"No!"

She looks at him, her eyes narrowed as she scans through for an insult that'll get the results she wants.

"Elf-lord."

He punches her.

"Ow!"

"Would you stop doing that!?"

She punches him again, then he turns to retaliate, they chase each other around her lab. She corners him behind her desk and he stares at her, repentant and slightly fearful of her response.

"Come on, Abby, you told me to," he half-whines, wincing in anticipation of her response.

She narrows her eyes at him, watching him like a hawk, then abruptly turns, her pigtails spinning, and heads back to the computer where they're watching the classroom. He doesn't know quite what to do, but head back to join her at the computer, because they have a job to do.

Time passes and they become engrossed in the case, translating Gibbs' 'mumbled' sign-language to gather clues and relaying information back and forth between Tony and Gibbs. Then, helping Tony work through the details of his diversion, she punches him.

"Ow!"

He punches her back, almost immediately.

"Ow!"

"What's that?" Tony asks.

"McGee tripped."

They finish talking with Tony, finally getting an idea of what he needs, and she punches him again.

"What was that one for?"

"Pissing off Tony. He's under a lot of pressure."

He stares at her, then shakes his head and begins setting up the distraction.

McGee's standing at one of her vacant computers, helping the Director try to locate Angela Meyers, only half-paying attention to what Abby's doing. He's absorbed in the search, narrowing down leads and picking up more clues, completely unaware as she sneaks up next to him, a fist raised. He opens his mouth to tell her something or ask a question.

"Abby, I--"

The blow lands.

"Ow!"

"_Never_ hit a lady, McGee!"

"But you--"

"Never."

He watches her for a second, but she's paying attention to the classroom feed again, having completely forgotten the lesson she taught McGee. He's not surprised; she's quirky, she's persistent, she's patient, she's devious, she enjoys playing games, but she always does her job. He shakes his head and grins crookedly, but follows her back to the screen. She glances over at him and smiles back right before focusing once more on the screen.


	3. Sketch III

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch III

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: see part 1

Spoilers: _Dead Man Walking_

Summary: Who she is just never really changes.

A/N: This one is not a McGee/Abby sketch, but I really loved her comment to Gibbs as they're discussing the radiation badge. :)

* * *

_**Abby: Somebody needs a Happy Meal...**_

He looked up as the bag was plunked down on his desk, saw the laughter in her eyes.

"What's this, Abs?"

"A Happy Meal," she replied chirpily.

He quirked one eyebrow at her, confused for a half-second, though he didn't show it. Then his mind made the leap and he nodded slightly, giving her a small grin as he pulled the bag closer. She nodded back, returned his grin with a beaming smile of her own, and headed over to the elevator, a bounce in her step. He shook his head at her antics as he dug out the tiny burger and fries.

When she came back later to give him the results of a test, a colorful incongruity at his desk caught her attention. The cheesy plastic toy sat on the corner, almost hidden behind the monitor, in a spot where only he would see it while he worked. That tiny bit of whimsy made her giggle, which attracted attention.

Tony walked over to stand next to her and saw the toy, a mystified expression gracing his face. He opened his mouth, then closed it and the expression on his face increased her amusement, a bubbly energy filling her expression. Across the way, McGee lifted his head and watched them, a slight frown on his face as he wondered what they were doing. He got up and joined them behind the desk, his eyes catching the abnormality; his expression mirrored Tony's. Finally, Tony moved past his shock and was able to talk.

"Why's Gibbs have a Happy Meal toy on his desk?"

Abby just beamed.


	4. Sketch IV

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch IV

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: see part one

Spoilers: _Tribes_

Summary: The way she is just never really changes.

* * *

_**Abby: "Takes a lot of TLC to keep my children happy and fully-functioning in the lab of Abby, or 'Labby', as I like to call it." [leans over and whispers to Major Mass Spec] "You're my favorite."**_

She peers through her magnifiers, feeling her eyes cross slightly as she scans the floor. Huffing in frustration, she sits back on her heels and looks up at the machine in front of her.

"I hope you know this is all your fault," she reprimands it, glaring mildly at it. It makes no response, but she imagines it pouts a little, the glowing lights on the front dimming slightly.

She hauls herself to her feet, glances around at the floor one more time, and turns to head over to the cabinet in the corner. Just as she moves away, she sees it, catches the tiny sparkle of metal as it winks at her from the floor.

"Ah!" she pounces, holding her prize aloft in a pair of tweezers and dancing slightly in triumph. Whirling, she carefully replaces the tiny chip, smiling in smug satisfaction as the machine gives an agreeable chirp and whirs, waiting for its first piece of evidence. "All better now, baby! Yay!"

She dances over to the stereo and pushes a button, filling her domain with the raucous sounds of her most recent musical addiction. Shimmying as she moves, she prepares the evidence for its trip, singing along to the music and enjoying the beat. Careful of the specimen she's holding, she dances over to the machine and sets up the test. Pushing a button, she listens for the happy chirp and frowns when she doesn't hear it. Watching the machine for a second as the music thunders around her, she thinks back to her earlier conversation with her children and remembers what she said.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She leans down and wraps an arm around the machine, making sure not to jostle it. "You _know_ you're my favorite. I just get frustrated when you lose pieces of yourself. Don't take it personally."

The machine gives a cheerful bleep in response and suddenly sets to business, its whirring components sounding not unlike a kitten's purr. She grins hugely and stands up, then does a mad twirl to the beat of her music, patting all the machines in her lab with a gentle, reassuring hand.

"Be not afraid, gentle machinery!" she announces, hands in the air in a grand gesture. "Mistress loves you all. There is plenty of love in Labby. Never fear." She bows repeatedly in a circle, her pig-tails bobbing.

Tiny lights around the room flicker in response and she grins hugely, throwing herself into the music and the evidence.


	5. Sketch V

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch V

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: See part one

Spoilers: _See No Evil_

Summary: The way she is just never really changes.

* * *

_**Abby: No, no, no, no! No! No! Aahh! My baby just french-fried!**_

He stepped out of the elevator carrying the box of evidence, already wincing in anticipation of the mind-numbing music she favored. He stopped short in the doorway, the doors already swooshing open, at the sight of black crepe and the sound of jazz.

"Um...Abby?" he called, confused and slightly concerned by the shape her lab was in.

She stepped slowly out of her inner lab, her black clothing subdued and her expression solemn. "Hi, Tony."

"Hi. Did I miss something?" he asked. "Who died?"

She gestured at a boxy, black silk-draped object in the corner, candles burning around it. "My baby french-fried yesterday."

He set the box down on the table and held out his arms. She stepped into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It was a good..." he searched his mind, trying to figure out what piece of equipment was missing, "machine. It will be missed."

She giggled slightly and pulled back to look up at him. "I had a new computer waiting this morning," she told him. "He just needed a day of remembrance." She walked over and patted the silk-shrouded machine.

He shook his head at her, especially when she came back over, bouncing slightly, and asked what he'd brought. He left her sashaying to the jazz as she catalogued the evidence.


	6. Sketch VI

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch VI

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: see part one

Spoilers: _Mind_ _Games_

Summary: The way she is just never really changes.

A/N: I about died when I saw this part of the episode. LOL!

* * *

_**Abby: [to McGee] You're not listening to a word I'm saying. I'm pregnant, McGee. Twins. Haven't told the father yet. It's Gibbs. I know it's wrong, but something about his silver hair gets me all tingly inside.**_

She smiles as he walks into her lab, a Caf-Pow! in one hand. He sets it down on the desk in front of her and her smile grows just a little bit wider. She glances up to thank him, notices the look in his eye, and gives him a suspicious look, wondering what's up.

"You telling stories about me?" he asks, all mock gruff-and-puff, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth.

Her smile's back in a flash as she responds. "Aww, come on, Gibbs! I was only trying to get McGee's attention."

"Hmm." He glances over at the junior agent, who's hunched over a computer in an attempt to stay below his radar. He looks back at her, sees the laughter in her eyes as she watches him, and winks covertly at her. "Whatcha got, Abbs?"

She rattles off the results of a test for him, nearly confusing him, but not quite, veering off on a tangent at the exact moment he begins to wonder. She smiles the entire time and he's glad. He needs this lightness during this case, needs her happiness to balance his obsessive anger. He grins at her and leans over to plant a soft kiss on her cheek.

"That's a good job, Abbs."

"Only the best for you, Gibbs!"

He chuckles as he turns to leave. He notices McGee's typing frantically on a keyboard, not daring to lift his head, and he raises an eyebrow at Abby, who shrugs and smiles once more. There's a mischievous glint in her eyes as she glances at the younger man. Gibbs detours over to him and delivers a deft swat as he leaves.

"Stop ignoring Abby," he tosses over his shoulder as the elevator doors close behind him.

She giggles and McGee turns to pin a glare on her.

"I was _working_! Geez. . ." he complains. "It was _one_ _time!_"

She laughs again at the disgusted look on his face and turns back to her computer, leaving him to fume.


	7. Sketch VII

Title: Energizer Abby, Sketch VII

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K

Disclaimer: see first part

Spoilers: _Shalom_

Summary: The way she is just never really changes.

* * *

_**McGee: My point is, Abby, you are really, really overdoing the sugar thing again.**_

_**Abby: Well, I'm eating for two. [He gives her a questioning look] Relax. I was referring to health food freak over there. Every time I've passed her desk, I've had this irresistible urge to shove a cheeseburger down her throat.**_

She smiled in her sleep, rolled over and smashed her face into her pillow.

_She walked into the bullpen, heading toward Tony's desk to hand him the results of the test. She was intent upon her path, the information vital to the investigation at hand, and it was her duty to give him this information. She rounded the corner, brushing past the partition and was suddenly faced with...her._

_The crunch of a carrot echoed through the surprisingly empty squad room, calling her attention like a homing beacon. It was an inescapable call, a siren's song begging her to take action. She grinned evilly as her vision centered in on the offending health freak._

_Instantly, a weight appeared in her hand. No longer did she hold the thin folder containing the evidence report; a greasy, steaming, loaded burger rested there, ready for its mission, prepared to sacrifice itself for her desires. She stalked her prey slowly, silently, moving closer and closer to her target without a single jingle from her chains to give her away._

_Somehow she managed it, moved right next to the desk without being noticed. She rose from her crouch, an avenging goddess of darkness with a cheeseburger as her weapon of justice. In one single, swift move, she grabbed the girl's face, opened her mouth and shoved the cheeseburger down her throat. In satisfaction, she watched the aftermath unfold, enjoyed the spectacular reaction as the junk food worked its special brand of magic._

She giggled slightly and hugged Bert tighter, completely out of it.

The next day, when Michelle Lee passed Abby in the hall on her way up to the bullpen, she didn't understand the particularly evil grin that bloomed on the forensic scientist's face. She watched the other girl walk down the hall, then shrugged. She never would completely understand Abby, no matter how long she worked here.


End file.
